No like literally I’m in the clouds, on a plane, making my way to Atlanta, GA for the week. HA! Hey lovelies!
There’s something about traveling that triggers a sensitive area in my heart. I haven’t really been traveling lately (that’ll be changing soon), and so when I do, I am reminded that I am now a solo traveler. Which, don’t get me wrong, is not a bad thing at all. It’s just not the way I anticipated life to be. Every time I see these beautiful pillowy clouds and crisp blue sky, I think of the many times my late husband and I traveled up and down the east coast together. Such beautiful memories of laughter, deep conversations, and TRAFFIC! Road trips are fun until you hit that traffic. Nonetheless, those are still memories that I hold so close to my heart.
I have been a little absent on my blog, pretty much for the last couple of months. Mainly because I’ve been super focused on building my business and getting my life in order. After I took some much needed Jesus and me time, I knew it was time to get back to work and slay the girl boss game. I remember praying in the beginning of this year for the Lord to help me steward my brand and platform in such a way that honors Him above all. I prayed that He’d help me create structure, systems, and strategies to further equip me for the platform the He gave me. The funny thing is, when I first started this whole digital career thing, I never knew how tangible it was to actually witness the growth of something you genuinely poured your heart into. I am literally learning as I go, but the beauty of it all was that He knew this was going to happen this way all along. I set out to mainly create beauty and personal style content, but to my surprise, God orchestrated it in such a way that MY LIFE is what he wanted to broadcast to the world. And not just “my” life, but my life through the lens of an imperfect young lady navigating life after some of the most tragic seasons. Ya’ll, He is LITERALLY giving me beauty for my ashes and although my life is totally NOT perfect, I see His grace bombarding me everywhere I go. He offers that to you too (insert ugly cry).
Since I’ve been gone from the blog for a little bit, let’s do a quick recap on some of the things that have been happening in 2018. Oh and don’t worry, I will be elaborating on some of these things in further blog posts. 😉
- My work was published in the Spring issue of FREED Magazine and they made it the cover story. Ahhhhh! I was on the cover of a magazine? Super amazing opportunity to make Jesus famous! The hard copies are sold out but here’s the free downloadable online copy. That was so hard to write but I knew God was up to something.
- I turned 28! I’m super grateful to see another year of life and witness all the wisdom that the good Lord has poured into me, but guys, I feel like I’m getting old! HA!
- Went to the salon and chopped my hair off! How about that deserves its own blog post because the transformation is BANANAS. My curls are POPPIN’ these days thanks to Ona, my amazing hair stylist.
- Working out has become a daily part of my life. This right here is super interesting because I was never excited about working out. I did it because I had too. Surprisingly, now I love to work out! I know, weird right? Not only do I enjoy making my fat cry and seeing it melt away, but all of that chemical stuff that happens inside of the body and brain is REAL! It simply makes me feel good.
- Mom turned 70 years old! She looks amazing, I just need baby Jesus to bless me with those genes, please and thank you.
I’m pretty sure I’m missing tons of things but these stick out the most. Overall, the first 6 months of 2018 have been spent processing, learning, and healing. Greif is a process that has no timeframe, and although God makes all things new (I am a witness to that), there are still times where my phantom limb feels tangible. There are loads of triggers that ignite the sting of death in my heart but I’m so grateful that God has conquered the grave, gifting me the hope that I get to see Curtis again one day in Heaven. On the other side of that is life on earth, where things aren’t perfect and you’re left to live life without your loved one. This experience has taught me that you never really “get over it”, you simply begin to take one breath at a time, one moment at a time and you learn how to live again. I’m so glad that I don’t have to try to figure it all out or even act like I have it all together. God just wants my “yes”, and He’s got the rest. Where my trust was fractured, He showed me that He’s got a plan for my life.
Greif is a process that has no timeframe, and although God makes all things new (I am a witness to that), there are still times where my phantom limb feels tangible
Welp, looks like I’ve got some time to spare on my flight and I’m going to spend it reading this amazing book. Have any of you read it before? Three words: YOU WILL CRY.
Since I’ll be in Atlanta, just thought I’d let you know that I’ll be speaking on the “Natural Hair Panel” at this year’s Pinky Promise Conference with Heather Lindsey. If you’re in town, come out and support so that I can give you a big HUG! Oh, before I forget, feel free to leave a comment with any of your favorite coffee shops so that I can visit. Thanks so much!
love, michelle ana
photography by fabiane photography & my iPhone