Grief, Lifestyle

Life Update: My Husband Passed Away

March 8, 2017

Today marks two months that my husband Curtis passed away. Typing those words still feel very surreal but the reality of his absence makes it all very real. Reality has had a painful way of reminding me that I can no longer text/call Curtis and receive a response, I can no longer feel the embrace of his tight long hugs and kisses on my forehead. All these things have gone through my mind several times in the last two months. And still, even in being in such a dark place, God has met me there.

I’m currently typing this at the Starbucks coffee shop that Curtis and I used to always come to. He’d get his usual grande green tea frappuccino with extra caramel drizzle and caramel syrup, because there was just never enough caramel. The sounds of the baristas creating drinks and people chatting bring me back. Back to the days were Curtis and I would talk for hours here, about, well, everything. Curtis was so obsessed with creating for a living. Creating music, art, clothing, you name it, Curtis wanted to do it all. These are the things that left me so perplexed and confused at the time of his death. He was so full of life and dreams. Dreams we shared and dreams he aspired to pursue himself. It’s hard to think that the dreams that we shared together died with him. It’s a tough reality. The thing is, I have to hang on to something, something that is greater than me.

I was up for a rude awakening when I realized that God had a grander plan. This wasn’t about Curtis’ death. This was about mercy and grace. Pain is oh so real and almost palpable, I can feel it, but God has proven to be so much greater than my pain. You see, God is orchestrating galaxies and giving us the breath of life. He is literally holding your whole world in his hands. This brings joy to my soul. I won’t be happy every moment, nor can I ever reverse time and change the plot because this was always written in our story, in my story. The best part is that I’m not seeking happiness, I’m seeking joy. Joy says, no matter the circumstances, I will not be shaken.

My whole life has prepared me for this moment. The moment were I would break away from the limitations of small thinking and comfort zones, into the unknown. Walking in the unknown is SCARY. The untrodden road is reserved for those that choose life. Those that choose to ultimately trust the one that created the road. Every one has a story. Had I seen mine before hand, I wouldn’t have chosen to become a widow at 26, I wouldn’t have chosen to experience loosing my soul mate, I wouldn’t have chosen falling in love with my best friend just to loose him at such a young age, it’s just not fair. But He chose me. I don’t understand it most days and most times I wish it would all be a bad dream but I can almost hear Curtis saying, “You better not give up…”.

In December of 2016, I remember receiving a flood of opportunities coming my way with my brand, and the photo above reminds me of what he told me, “It’s happening… it’s happening…”. Most of the time I think Curtis believed in me more than I believed in myself. He knew I’d do amazing things.

Babi, thank you for being such an amazing and beautiful soul. I thank God every day for having had the opportunity of loving and serving you as your wife. It wasn’t always easy and at times it seemed impossible that two very flawed souls could love each other as much as we did, but that had to have been God’s love. Thank you for adding so much laughter and adventure to my life in the last 11 years of our relationship. Although I feel the hole of your absence in my heart, it’s comforting to know that you are receiving the perfect love of God. You made it baby! I miss you terribly but what great hope it is to know that I will be seeing you again one day. I know that you will await me with the BIGGEST smile on your face. I love you forever. Rest in Heaven Babi 01/09/90-01/08/17

All photos by Jacqueline Photography.

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  • Reply Melissa March 8, 2017 at 10:08 pm

    Thank you so much for sharing this!

    • Reply priss March 27, 2017 at 12:18 pm

      Thank you for sharing your lost it has given me a different perspective of life. You are so strong for telling your story all I can say is thank you

  • Reply kita bryant March 8, 2017 at 10:38 pm

    This was so powerful! I lost my husband last year Jan. and my life has been….I don’t even have the words to describe it. I still can’t sleep at night because after 10 yrs of marriage and being use to sleeping next to him it’s hard but please know that there is a community of people who are standing with you!

    • Reply Michelle March 26, 2017 at 10:07 pm

      I too lost my husband on Dec 2016 I am now a widow @ 36yrs old. Two young children. Still grieving, a difficult journey ahead. But I know our story is already written. That gives me peace in my heart and able to move forward. Until we meet again.

    • Reply Anne April 15, 2017 at 2:48 am

      My husband died 14 1/2 yrs ago…..and I still miss him. I long for his touch, his laugh, how he held me. My precious husband died because an ER wouldn’t believe me, wouldn’t do as I asked. All he would have had to do was pick up the phone and call his doctors at a huge Medical Center in Ann Arbor, MI….but no. My DH had a seizure disorder and occasionally would have seizures. On the day he died, he had a seizure and should have been given the IV medication I asked for…..instead, he died 4 hr later….having had another seizure that was too hard to control. We had 28.5 yrs together.
      Although I have remarried, my current marriage is nothing like my first. I long for the love that I once had….you really know deep in your heart when you are truly loved. I am not saying my current DH doesn’t love me…..he is just so different. IF I had known that he would have changed so much after we married…..well….I don’t know…..maybe I shouldn’t be married to this man. I still cling to the love I once had…..
      Thanks for listening, I appreciate

      • Reply Daryan October 4, 2017 at 2:28 am

        I am praying for you,God’s got your back through it all 🙂

  • Reply Tisha March 8, 2017 at 11:10 pm

    Praying for you. My father passed January 18th and I miss his calls and hugs as well.

  • Reply Dana Dobson March 9, 2017 at 7:05 am

    I just lost my husband on February 23, 2017. I would not wish this journey on anyone,but my faith in God has helped me to keep it together. Thanks for sharing your story!

  • Reply Chrissy Woods March 9, 2017 at 10:48 am

    Michelle, I continue to pray your strength and God IS greater than your pain. You’re a beautiful reflection of God’s love. God Bless you sister.

  • Reply Shannon March 9, 2017 at 11:19 am

    What a beautiful video. Raw and with Love & Grace. Prayers have been prayed for you and will continue, as the Lord calls us to stand in the gap for our sisters and brothers. May He continue to keep you sister in Christ as we pray for you. 💕🙏🏾

  • Reply Janet Ferraro March 9, 2017 at 7:33 pm

    Oh Michelle!
    May the Lord continue to fill in the places that losing your precious Curtis has left behind. Your heart and your spirit are so sweet! Just listening to you makes it easy to see and understand the great love and friendship you shared with Curtis.
    Thank you for being so vulnerable.
    Prayers for greater peace.

  • Reply Soriluz March 9, 2017 at 10:18 pm

    This was beautiful Mitchell done with such elegance , praying for you my love, BTW I can not get that song (Abba I belong to you) out of my head since I first heard you sing it.

  • Reply Dana Drake March 15, 2017 at 8:09 pm

    I watched your video and just cried I had actually never eat he’s or followed you before. You are such a strong and beautiful young woman, you have been through a heartbreak I could not even imagine and the fact that you have held on to your faith so strongly is a credit to you. I hope God continues to bless you and heal your heart.

  • Reply Mary Taylor March 16, 2017 at 1:48 am

    Thank you for sharing this!!! I lost my husband December 2016 and It has been so hard for me to move on. I have sleepless nights and some days are better than others. I know that better days are ahead! With the help of God, I am going to get through this.

    • Reply Faruda March 25, 2017 at 7:37 am

      I lost my husband Oct 2016 ,we had two kids still all babies ,everyday I ask myself if this is real ,moving on is painful but a gradual process ,I hope we can all relate together and form a community where we can encourage one another ,God bless

  • Reply Amelia Rob March 16, 2017 at 2:15 am

    You are an amazingly strong woman whom I admire so much. Glad that you know God is in control. Just take one day at a time. You would have good days and you’ll have terrible days, but God will see you through.

  • Reply Sara P. March 16, 2017 at 10:00 am

    Hi Michelle,

    I have recently started watching your YouTube videos and it’s sad to know that you are going through this difficult time in your life but with a purpose from God. Your story has touched me so much. I pray for you and your family!!!

    I was listening to Curtis sing backgrounds to Ven Señor with the lead singer of your church. What an awesome song!!! I got chills just listening to it!! So sad to hear of the loss of a talented young man! Gone too soon but now in our Lord’s presence!!!

  • Reply Sade March 18, 2017 at 2:17 am

    I don’t know how I came across your story at 2:00am on a cold NYC night. There is no other explanation than god talking to me. Ive been selfish and not realizing how beautiful gods green earth is. Blind by the artificial things. After reading your story I was filled with a feeling that I can’t explain. Almost as though your strength and faith filled my soul with love and I went and hugged my parents told them I loved them, texted my sister and brother reminding them I loved them. And thanked god for all he has blessed me with.

    Know that the faith you have and the faith your husband had filled me with pure joy! And I never met you both. May he continue to shine from the heavens touching people from all over the world with love. And may you continue to bless everyone who has the pleasure of meeting and reading your words on their screens with strength love and faith in our father for he has a path for all of us we just have to follow. May your journey be filled with joy and adventure and know your husband will be there with you every step of the way.

  • Reply Persia March 18, 2017 at 4:20 pm

    My sister lost her husband almost a year & a half ago, she too became a widow at the tender age of 26, with a 2 month old baby boy and a dream home they had just built & moved into 3 days before he met his untimely death. The pain still cuts so deep but we find comfort in the Lord and hold on to the hope that they will meet again. When I accidentally landed on your latest YouTube post this afternoon, I cried along with you. Losing someone in such a sudden manner means that the sense of disbelief will never go away; but we find comfort in knowing that God is nearer to those who are brokenhearted and that His strength is made perfect in our weakness. Trust the process. Romans 8 vs 28. Hugs & kisses all the way from Johannesburg, South Africa. XO Persia

  • Reply Georgia Williams March 18, 2017 at 11:02 pm

    For some reason, I came across your video on youtube letting your subbies know about your husband. It was my first time seeing or hearing of you, but your story impacted my life. I searched your videos and found the husband tag and it further tore me apart to hear you both talk about being together the next forty years. HOWEVER, what has touched me even more so is how God is strengthening you, and how he prepared you. I am SO pround of you. I am forty years old, and you have encouraged me. I too love my Abba, and from you sharing this, I love Him even more. I will trust Him even more. And I also told my husband I will be a better wife becasue I say it often, but it is so true that we just never know. I am in charge of my women’s ministry at church, and I plan to share your story when we meet next, with the hope that the same way your story has moved me, it will move the other ladies. Continue to look to Him. You are an inspiration to people of all ages.
    Many blessings, and Shalom

  • Reply Sarahi March 19, 2017 at 1:04 am

    Hola, antes que nada quiero decirte que lo lamento tanto, entiendo perfecto el inglés, pero me es más fácil escribir español dado que es mi idioma natal, de alguna manera, nose como, llegue a este vídeo en you tube, y quiero decirte que sentí que estaba ahí contigo, me dolió su pérdida, me dolió el no tener la bendición de a verlo conocido, fuiste, eres, muy afortunada, viendo tus blogs en tu otro canal, Dios mío, no tengo la valentía de verlos completos, me parte el corazón el pensar en lo feliz que eran juntos, no trato de hacer esto más difícil para ti, pero te admiro mucho, tu vídeo ah tocado mi vida, me ah recordado lo alejada que eh estado De Dios, me recordaste lo hermoso que es vivir bajo la presencia De Dios, el nos da fuerzas, nos llena de vida, en agosto pasado, perdí a mi bebe, estaba embarazada con seis meses, hasta ahora no entiendo el porque, no encuentro razón alguna, pero confió plenamente en que Dios tiene. El control de mi vida, y el de todos, y que el tiene un propósito para nosotros, sigue siendo muy difícil para mí el aceptar por qué no fui capaz de verlo sonreír, por qué a mí, por qué, no lo entiendo, solo siento un gran dolor con solo recordar cómo se escuchaba su corazón, y como el me pateaba, comprendo bien, que es diferente, el era tu esposo, pero el perder siempre alguien que amas tanto es doloroso, y solo quiero desearte que Dios siga dándote fuerzas, que te siga bendiciendo, seguiré viendo tus vídeos y trataré de verdad acercarme más a Dios, tus vídeos me dan un ejemplo de como una hija De Dios es, eres bellísima, y tú corazón te hace hermosa, Curtis fue muy muy muy afortunado de a verte tenido a ti cómo esposa, no quiero ni imaginar cuánto el té amo, ustedes son un ejemplo a seguir, y ahora que el está con Dios, quisiera que sigas así, que hay días que te sentirás abajo, y eso está bien, es comprensible, pero recuerda que hay un Dios que nos llena y nos renueva, y nos mantiene de pie, y nos da valentía para seguir viviendo, te admiro muchísimo Michelle, eres una hermosa mujer, cuando tengas la oportunidad de viajar a LA, no dudes en tener aquí una casa, una amiga, me encantaría poder un día abrazarte, te deceo lo mejor en tu vida que Dios te siga dando fuerzas y que tengas mucho éxito, con amor, Sarahi.

  • Reply LaToya March 19, 2017 at 11:34 am

    God surely works in mysterious ways. I was on YouTube browsing l like I do daily, and your video appeared on my feed. I believe that there is something that one can take from many of things that you encounter and Michelle, I truly take strength, and encouragement from you today. I pray that you continue to heal and remember that HE makes no mistakes. Thank You for sharing from the bottom of my heart!

  • Reply Michele Carvjal March 19, 2017 at 7:05 pm

    As I was going through YouTube and I came across your video. I am impressed how strong you are! God has given you the strength to keep going through this, and he will continue in doing so. You are a testimony of what it is to have faith, strength, and just beyond admiring of what a woman of God is..Your husband right now is enjoying his time with the Lord watching over you, and the family. The love that you guys shared is amazing because it shows how both of you made the Lord as the center of your lives, and that is the key to every relationship. Just know that God has big plans for you and he will never leave your side. May the Lord pour blessings over your life! Sometimes we do not understand what God does, but we can only rest knowing that his plans are bigger than ours. I hope I can stay in touch with you and meet you someday in the future! All the way from Chicago, IL Love you in the name of Jesus Christ. Michele Carvajal. XO.

    “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7 “

  • Reply Margaret Ingham March 20, 2017 at 11:59 am

    I am so sorry for your lose. My husband died on Dec.24, 2016. The doctors told me that he was going to be coming home on that day. He did come home just not to me.

    Like you and others God is given me tbe strength to go though this very difficult time. I know that because of the love that God has for us we will all be ok. I know that there are times that it hurts so much.I can’t breath. Somehow God givens me the strenght to get though
    God bless you and thank you for sharing your beautiful love story with us.

  • Reply Anissia Jackson March 20, 2017 at 8:45 pm

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I have been married for 23 years March the 19th and I can’t imagine not having my husband here.

  • Reply Sara K. March 21, 2017 at 5:45 pm

    My heart and prayers are with you.
    You are inspirational.
    I thank God for you and thank you for being you. Thank you for sharing. To be able to witness God through your being is a true blessing. God’s beauty shines in you.
    “For His eye is on the sparrow and I know
    He watches me.”

  • Reply Priscilla Bejar March 22, 2017 at 3:16 am

    I have no idea how I stumbled upon your video, but I did. I believe everything happens for a reason. You are a beautiful soul. Thank you for sharing.

  • Reply Momo March 22, 2017 at 6:25 am

    Hi Michelle,

    I just watched your video and I just wanted to let you know that your story has touched me very deeply. My heart and prayers go out to you. My husband and I have been married for a year and we’re still going through the adjustments and learning more about each other. Seeing your video made me realize that life is so precious and God can call us home at any moment. And that thought alone makes me want to cherish my husband and all my loved ones more. You are an inspiration to many and I pray that God provides you the strength, perseverance, healing and peace that you need to get through each day. All my love, xoxo Momo

  • Reply Sharon Dixon March 22, 2017 at 9:04 am

    Thank you for sharing this. I have been gven a year to live and it is so hard but also a blessing as I can say my goodbyes. It breaks my heart that I won’t see my grandchildten grow up marry have children and be blessed by the Lord. I am truly happy to make memories with everyone and be joyful for my last hours. Itvis hard knowing that I am going to hurt my family by passing so young I am 48 and i had a lifetime ahead with my husband and children and grandchildreb. I have had a lifetime already we met when we were 19 so we have been blessed and I’m sorry but I wanted more. We live each day to the fullest we can do and we take life day by day.
    You are an astonishing woman and I have shown you to my children. Thank you for sharing your grief and grieving with us it is truly an amazing gift thank you.

  • Reply Janice A March 22, 2017 at 11:05 am

    I LOVE YOU MICHELLE …. Your “Life Update” video was suggested to me two days ago not sure why as for the past few days I’ve been mostly listen to teachings by Pastor Chris and Dr Myles Munroe. I’ve never come across you on YouTube before. On my lunch, your video was suggested again. I clicked on the video. I was so moved by your video that I went on to your website ( FYI these movements are very unlike me). Had to hold back tears cause I’m at work. Your strength, your honesty, your faith and relationship in Christ …. WOW! Keep going mama :-). Everything is working out for your good sis. Praying for you
    Lots of Love from London, England

  • Reply Cici March 23, 2017 at 8:08 pm

    You are an amazing woman. So courageous and strong. May God continues to give you peace of mind, endless love, and endless strength to endure. John 5:28-29. There is hope and God alone will ensure his very words are true 😉

  • Reply Jenny March 25, 2017 at 1:11 pm

    Hey I came across your video by accident..
    I lose my husband on valentines days of 2107
    Seeing your video made me cry because I know how you feel I am a widow at 29
    He was my best friend and we were together for 16 years .. it’s the hardest thing anyone can go through.. thank you for posting a video like This Thank you .. because it’s gives me strength..

  • Reply Elizabeth Anyango March 25, 2017 at 3:32 pm

    I’m so so sorry for your loss Michelle may God stand in the gap curtis left …. My condolences…

  • Reply Georgiana Hogan March 30, 2017 at 3:10 pm

    Hi Michelle, I feel your pain, I too have lost my husband in 2015 I was also pregnant with our first child together, he never got to meet his daughter, but God is in control and you will see each other again, keep strong

  • Reply Faith Muriithi April 2, 2017 at 7:34 pm

    You’re an epitome of great strength, this I believe. Don’t despair, all is well. And just like you said, God is so intentional! May you find comfort and solace underneath His wings and bountiful grace. God bless you

  • Reply Mok Jia Min April 3, 2017 at 12:28 pm

    Enoch walked faithfully with God; then he was no more, because God took him away.
    Genesis 5:24

    As I watched your video and read through your different posts in dedication to God and your husband, this verse just came to mind. Your sharing also reminded me of a worship song- Broken vessel by Hillsong.

    I thank God for your beautiful life poured out for Him. Praying for you my dear sister. So excited to see what the Lord has in store for you. 🙂

    In His Love,
    Your Sister in Christ from Singapore

  • Reply Kelli April 6, 2017 at 11:46 pm

    Your YouTube video has been recommended to me for a month, I’ve wanted to click on it but I’ve put it off so many times. Today I watched it, your so brace to share this experience with the world. You have such a beautiful soul. I’m so saddened to hear about your loss, life can be so unfair. But something I’ve realized is that no one ever said it would be fair in the first place. I’ve put off watching your video because I lost my big sister in 2014, she passed shortly after her 27th birthday. It was so sudden, and I can relate when you recalled getting the news and driving to the hospital and everything. When I allow myself to “go there” I can remember every detail of that evening, it hurts so bad. I also remember never expecting death, they told me over the phone that she stopped breathing but I mean she’s only 27, my big sister who protected me all of lives, there’s no way just just….died. My family left the hospital that evening in such a shock, the days after went by so slow, I was in such shock. I remember the moment (days after) when I realized that we had to plan a funeral. I should have been planning her wedding or baby shower or something but no a funeral.
    I can go on and on, but maybe I should put this to good use, I made a blog to document my grief which I haven’t used in awhile. Thank you for being so brace and sharing, my heart goes out to you. And if you ever need advice or would like to share with someone who can somewhat relate then email me anytime. Sending much love and support your way..! <33

  • Reply Kondwani Musonda April 7, 2017 at 2:05 pm

    I think you would be shocked to know that the day your husband died is the very day I celebrated my 24 Th birthday and I was stunned to celebrate it in church. Am so sorry for your loss. You are one strong soul . Your video just popped up on my feed and Iv watched it twice already and even watched the worship send off you gave him. I truly believe that one day you will meet with him and it’s such a beautiful thing to learn that you both love the Lord so deeply. May He continue to Rest in Heaven.

  • Reply raghad jalanbo April 22, 2017 at 1:15 am

    Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story. You exude grace, pain, beauty and faith. I am a devout follower of a religion different than yours and/yet I am so HAPPY for you that you have your belief in God to hold on to. Imagine life without God, it makes no sense to even live it. I can tell you have already grown so much as a person through this difficult experience and I’m sure you will continue evolving into an even more amazing woman.

    I’m also happy your husband was around to witness the beginning of your brand success and had the opportunity to express his support and encouragement to fuel you forward.

    All the best to you.

  • Reply Betsy Jimenez April 25, 2017 at 8:56 pm

    You are such an inspiring woman, brave most of all full of love ❤️

  • Reply Larit April 30, 2017 at 6:56 am

    God is too perfect to make mistakes. I also lost my husband on the 19/03/ 27yrs Been married close to 4years with two can’t explain the hurt that comes with such tradegies.but Just like you.God has been the source of my Joy.he has given me so much peace and I hold unto his word because he is the only person I can depend on .God has been faithful.i pray for you too.that our perfect God will make perfect our grieving hearts.we can only see the stars in darkness.may this dark phase spring out all the stars in our lives. Lerit from Nigeria

  • Reply Liz May 9, 2017 at 11:16 am

    I’m so sorry for your loss…I’m sharing this with you because your obviously religious. God is Love…do you think that a God that is Love wanted you to suffer? God knows what your feeling and it hurts him too. He would never decide to pick a random human to go to heaven with him. The Bible often compares death to sleep. (Psalm 13:3; John 11:11-14; Acts 7:60) A person who is fast asleep is unaware of what is happening around him. Likewise, the dead are not conscious of anything. Yet, the Bible teaches that God can awaken the dead as if from sleep and give them life again. (Job 14:13-15) For those whom God resurrects, death is not the end of everything. Please read the beautiful promise that God has in store for humans Revelation 21: 3-4 and I hope this gives you some comfort. All the best to you.

  • Reply Newfan May 13, 2017 at 9:43 pm

    Michelle, God is greater than your pain…He is my dear friend. You are amazing. I pray for peace upon your life. I can’t stop crying, you are amazing…your faith has moved me. Oh God please bless this woman, please give her joy! He walked into glory, this is heavy!

  • Reply Tamara Buford May 17, 2017 at 1:00 am

    Thank you for being such a inspiration to me, it amazes me how your deepest pain reveals the power of God in your life. Your love for God is amazing and it evident that your life has not ended but just begun. There are many doors that are opening for you and God will continue to move and breathe through you so he can get the glory and people will follow and their hearts like mine will truly be healed from hurt, disappointments, and pain. Thank you love for sharing your story and life with us. Yes, I want to repeat this for me, in tears and my heart longing for God- God is greater than my pain. You are an awesome women of God and I pray that your light will continue to shine and reach more people. —T.M.B from Auburn, Al

  • Reply Jenni May 17, 2017 at 10:27 am

    My brother went to be with Jesus December 20th 2015. 30 years old, with an amazing wife a 2yr old and a little boy on the way. His heart quit, just like your husbands. 90 seconds then Jesus…… a sudden arrhythmic death, inconclusive. Later we find out that there is silent killer in our family lineage….. Brugada Syndrome. There is no way to know if that is exactly what it was as it leaves no trace in the body of a dead person. Affects mostly young males in the prime of their lives. Heartbreaking but life goes on, you lean into joy and lean on the Lord.

  • Reply Sherice May 17, 2017 at 12:16 pm

    Hi Michelle, my heart goes out to you. I somehow stumbled onto your Youtube video and watched your video on the passing of your husband. I pray God continues to comfort you and your family. He is the supreme ruler and he makes no mistakes.

  • Reply Shemika Washington July 17, 2017 at 4:41 pm

    Michelle, I saw your first video a couple of months ago, watched your husband’s entire celebration of life, and fell in love with the song, Abba, I belong to you. Again, today, you have encouraged me beyond measure. May the peace and joy of the Lord continue to fill you through and through!

  • Reply Emmanuel August 24, 2017 at 8:58 pm

    Thank you very much for sharing, this testimony brings life and hope to me. I am learning that in the midst of pain and fear, I do not need to bury it and that walking with God through the pain and fear is the only way to learn to know Him while also receive healing in the process.

    Thank you for the PEACE of God which you carry and manifest through your words and demeanour.
    God bless you.

  • Reply Lucian Hodoboc September 4, 2017 at 6:48 am

    I am very sorry for your loss. May God bring blessings into your life and offer you all the answers you seek.

  • Reply Juwayra Januarie September 15, 2017 at 3:33 am

    I have come across your Youtube video 2 days ago and I am just in awe of how strong you are. I feel like I want to show your videos to everyone I know. ( I actually did already). Your story is inspiring and is worth sharing. Thank you.

    People need to hear this, they need to hear your story. It’s a lesson to learn, a story of hope and inspiration.

    Thank you!

  • Reply Claudia watenpuhl October 16, 2017 at 8:18 pm

    I was in such a bad place in my head and heart when I came across your video about the passing of your husband. I lost my Mom last year in January, my husband was forced to apply for disability after a car accident, we walked away from our home my babies grew up in, my Step Mom then passed in November, my Father in law in December and I then had a staph infection that left me in the hospital for a week undergoing surgery on my right hand I can hardly use now. In January my husband underwent major neck surgery to have rods and screws put in front and back of his neck. February I had a horrible car accident that left me with a broken back and a totaled car, the only thing we had left and without full coverage we now have no car either. We are staying with my son and it’s been a lot of loss. My faith was shaken. When I heard your story and saw the love and amazing spirit of God that radiated through you it made it gave me hope and had me in tears as I listened to the song you linked. I am so blessed to have my husband of 17 years and our 4 kids now in their 20s ad well as a beautiful 6 year old granddaughter. We are a blended family but we were meant to be just that. Love is so much deeper than blood. I thank you for helping me realize that I may have lost a lot but we have to keep going for the ones we still have. I will pray for you sweetheart and I really am so sorry for your loss. God bless you.

  • Reply Jackie Koellner October 28, 2017 at 4:18 pm

    God Bless. You are loved and give so much love

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